Why Women Walk Out On Their Men

By Dr. Harold J. Sala

If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.  1Timothy 5:8

A woman doesn’t leave a man because she can’t live on what he makes, contends an expert on men and women relations.  She leaves him because she is emotionally unfulfilled.  When Paul wrote Timothy, a young pastor in the early church, he told him that if a man doesn’t provide for his own household, he’s worse than an infidel and has denied the faith.  Strong word in any language.

Far too many men think that a woman’s needs consist of food, clothing, and shelter, which are strictly environmental needs.  A mare in a pasture may need food and water and not much more, but a woman is not a horse.  She’s actually far more complex than the male who courts and wins her hand.

Every woman has three emotional needs which men often ignore:  1. She needs to give and receive love, which embraces far more than physical touch.  2.  She needs to feel worthwhile to herself and to others.  3.  She needs a measure of emotional security.

No wonder most men don’t get it.  Not understanding that women are complex, a lot of men treat their wives as they would another guy, failing to understand that each has what the other lacks.  And only by going with the flow of our differences can we find harmony.

How do we cope with differences?  Three insights help you get what you want while your mate finds fulfillment and satisfaction at the same time.

Guideline #1:  Recognize and accept those God-ordained differences.  You came from the drawing board of heaven with differences which equip each of you to fulfill God’s role for marriage and family living.  Men have 30% greater upper body strength; women have greater emotional strength.  Men are focused, which helps them succeed in life; women are relational, which makes life worth living.  Peter, one of Jesus’ disciples who was in the fishing business, was married and had children.  He urged men to recognize that women are the weaker of the sexes–not as a concession but as a provision to be met by their husbands.

Guideline #2:  Happiness and harmony come by completing, not competing with each other.  Failure to recognize this is the fatal flaw of the modern feminist movement.  Visualize a single lens 35mm camera with a 300 mm telephoto lens–that’s how men think.  Now conceptualize a digital movie camera which constantly sweeps the horizon–that’s how women think.  Each camera has a specific purpose and function, but put them together and you have something awesome.  Two heads are far better than one when they cooperate instead of competing with each other.

Guideline #3:  Talk and pray together.  No problem is so great that it cannot be resolved when two individuals clasp hands together and say, “Lord, we ask you to show us what you want us to do.  What is your will in this whole matter?”  Long ago Amos asked the question, “Can two walk together except they be agreed?”  The obvious answer is no, something borne out by the fact that multitudes of marriages all over the world are failing today.

When I have a piece of equipment which doesn’t work right, I invariably get out the instruction book to find out what button got pushed or what has happened which suddenly makes the thing malfunction.

God gave a manual for marriage survival.  It’s the Bible, and the time-honored principles of this book bring harmony and happiness in marriage.  Being the right person is equally as important as finding the right person, and you’ll find the answers which produce harmony by interfacing God’s way.  It works.

Resource reading: Ephesians 5:15-32. 


Dr. Harold J. Sala, well known speaker, author and Bible teacher, has served as founder and President of Guidelines International, Inc., since 1963. He is the featured speaker on the daily “Guidelines-A Five Minute Commentary on Living” which is broadcast on over 1000 radio stations around the world and translated in over 15 languages. Author of over 40 books published in various languages and hundreds of publications. Residing in Mission Viejo, California, Harold and his wife, Darlene, have three adult children and eight well-loved grandchildren.

Used with permission from Guidelines Philippines, Inc. To learn more about Guidelines and the ministry, please write to Box 4000, 1280 Makati City, Philippines or e-mail address box4000@guidelines.org. You may also visit the Guidelines website at www.guidelines.org.

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