Men and Women Correct Differently

By Dr. Harold J. Sala

Elkanah, her husband, would say to her, “Hannah, why are you weeping?  Why don’t you eat?  Why are you downhearted?  Don’t I mean more to you than ten sons?”  1 Samuel 1:8

One of the few things that can stop a woman from going shopping is the possibility that she will have to parallel-park the car.  That’s one of the reasons shopping centers make sure there is plenty of parking in an open lot.  A study in Britain indicated that 82% of men could parallel park on the first attempt but only 22% of women could make it without a second try.  In Singapore the figures were 60% for men, 19% for women.  So women are inferior to men—at least when it comes to driving, right?  No, say Barbara and Allan Pease in their book Why Men Don’t Listen.  “The equality of men and women,” they contend “is a political or moral issue; the essential difference is a scientific one.

In the 90s, scientific research on the human brain determined that your brain determines how you think, and your thinking determines your behavior.  Women are not being difficult or klutzy when it comes to trouble with parallel parking.  Their brains equip them for different skills, and parking isn’t necessarily one of them.

Your brain has two hemispheres.  The right side controls most motor skills involving comprehension; the left side, verbal skills.  The left side of a pre-natal female baby begins to develop sooner than the left side of a male baby, which may well have something to do with the fact that women can out-talk men, hands down.  Actually, women use 50% more words every day than their male counterparts.

By age 11, says researcher Geoff Hannan, boys are eleven months behind girls in verbal skills and six months behind in math, though boys are way ahead in motor skills.  Some boys are much higher in math and science comprehension.

About week six following conception the hypothalamus gland in the brain kicks in and sends varying amounts of testosterone or estrogen to the developing baby, which produces sexual identity and make a baby male or female.  The estrogen also produces a thicker or denser connection between the two hemispheres of the brain, which accounts for some of the male-female differences.

Men are focused; women are relational.  Men tend to do one thing at a time and do it quite well; women can process information in such a way that they can do several things at the same time—something men just don’t handle very well.

So men and women don’t think the same way?  Absolutely.  If you want to communicate with a male, be direct.  Don’t hint at what you want.  Don’t use nice female expressions such as “can” or “could” or “do you think it would feel good if we…”  And don’t use a little girl “sotto” voice or whine.  There’s a reason why pretty girls with low sultry voices pitch the beer commercials.

Men and women differences were all part of God’s design, yet I am amazed how seldom men understand women and women understand men.  I would think that men should catch on to the non-verbal emotional, touch-feely messages women send each other, but men just don’t get it.  And subsequently when men are direct, women are shocked at their brusque “Slam-bam-thank-you-ma’am” directness.

Communication is vital, and knowing the rules between the sexes is the only way you can get what you want, whether it is cooperation in shopping, the movie you want to see, getting your back rubbed, or getting help carrying out the trash.  It’s true that men and women may speak the same language but put together words and thoughts as if men were from one planet and women were from another.  John Gray made that point when he suggested men are from Mars, women are from Venus.

Resource reading: 1Samuel 1:1-20.

 

Dr. Harold J. Sala, well known speaker, author and Bible teacher, has served as founder and President of Guidelines International, Inc., since 1963. He is the featured speaker on the daily “Guidelines-A Five Minute Commentary on Living” which is broadcast on over 1000 radio stations around the world and translated in over 15 languages. Author of over 40 books published in various languages and hundreds of publications. Residing in Mission Viejo, California, Harold and his wife, Darlene, have three adult children and eight well-loved grandchildren.

Used with permission from Guidelines Philippines, Inc. To learn more about Guidelines and the ministry, please write to Box 4000, 1280 Makati City, Philippines or e-mail address box4000@guidelines.org. You may also visit the Guidelines website at www.guidelines.org.

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