RealTalk – Bittersweet Conversations with Single Mothers

realtalk bittersweet conversations with single mothers

Raising a child is never easy, what more if you have to do it all alone?

Single mothers surely know what it’s like. Here’s a #RealTalk with them as they share their bittersweet parenting life.

Hear it from Aby, 37 years old, mother to her 12-year old son; Mary, 36 years old, mother to her two daughters aged 2 and 18; and Myra, 38 years old, mother to her 12-year old son.

  1. What is the most challenging thing about being a single mom?

“Everything is challenging. I can’t really think of what is most challenging, because one task affects another. But then, perhaps I can say that being the ‘Mom and Dad’ at the same time or basically taking two roles in life tops everything. Talk about multitasking to a higher level.” –Aby

  1. When is it most fulfilling?

“Whenever I feel so down and discouraged, he would be this cheerleader who instantly lights up my world. The idea of being able to share your life with a wonderful kid like him is in itself very much fulfilling.” – Myra

“Whenever I see my kids laughing and smiling fills my heart with joy.” – Mary

“…God knows what we can only do considering our circumstances, our limitations. He does not expect us to do something beyond our capabilities. He helps us accomplish things. He is the Giver of gifts, the Provider, Comforter, and the Father to the fatherless. He is my and my son’s Father. He hears our cries and rescues us when needed. He is co-parenting with me. What more can I ask for? Knowing these truths make single motherhood fulfilling to me.” -Aby

  1. When is it most painful?

“Whenever he disobeys.” –Myra

“When you are torn between situations. It hurts whenever you need to prioritize doing something else instead of spending time with your children,” –Mary

“It is always painful. The pain of abandonment, betrayal, and loneliness always comes back at you. The only comfort that I have is the hope that I have in Jesus Christ, that He will never leave us not forsake us. Our lives (mine and my son’s) are living miracles of His greatness and never failing love.” –Aby

  1. What’s the most memorable/sweetest moment you shared with your child/children that made you realize that all the hardships and sacrifices are all worth it?

“Whenever he says, ‘sa’kin lang siya’ (I’m only yours) no matter what happens. Despite our situation, hearing him say that always touches my heart.” –Myra

“Their school graduation ceremonies. It makes me feel that all my hardships, efforts, and sacrifices are being paid off.” – Mary

“Every act of love from my son is the sweetest. I can’t tell if one act is sweeter than the other. But then, what resonates upon reading this question is when my son would thank me for keeping him and taking care of him and that he would always choose to be with me, that he would never choose another parent or parents (with a mom and a dad).” – Aby

  1. If there is this one negative impression about single Moms that you want to break, what is it and why?

“This idea that single moms aren’t really capable of raising their children alone, that it just wouldn’t work.” – Myra

“I fear that when they grow up, people would see their character, judge them and say ‘…well, it’s because she was raised by a single mom…’ There are people who may not have any idea about how challenging it is to raise children alone. So, there should be respect. They should also be considerate of what the children may feel when things are being said against their parent.” – Mary

“I want ALL negative impressions about single Moms broken and I think that they all start from realizing that not one person is better than another. To add, the machismo mentality in our culture should be crushed… We all make mistakes. Not all relationships work out well. Single mothers are co-parented by God. This makes every one of us (single moms) whole in Him, our family is whole or complete with Him. There is nothing negative about that.” –Aby

For Aby, Mary, and Myra, being a single mom can be very hard but can also be very fulfilling.

The beauty of life emanates in the midst of their hardships. They keep moving forward in life, taking one step at a time because of the love that they have for their children and the gratefulness for being blessed by having them. IN return, they should also be loved.

 “We must love single mothers without a stigma on their situation,” Jonathan Parnell said in his article as found desiringgod.org.

With love shall come respect, understanding, acceptance, and support. This is the very heart of God’s Word. It is a call that all must embrace and put into action.

1 John 4:7 NIV says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”

Are you a single mother and you need someone to talk to? Call us at 737-0700, if you are in Metro Manila. If you are outside Metro Manila or the Philippines, you can contact us through the CBN Asia Prayer Center.

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